


i miss you

by feralgaymlm



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye, jacksepticeye egos - Fandom, jse egos - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Confessions, M/M, Voicemails, Worry, all the times in this are the times i wrote it from stsrt to finish, follows my and friend's 'canon', literally wrote this and cried
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-05 22:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19049287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feralgaymlm/pseuds/feralgaymlm
Summary: deleted voicemails





	i miss you

"Hey, it's 2:43 a.m. I - I can't sleep." The bed was cold, lonely. Too big for his body. "Not without you anyways. But...you're not here. Or, I'm not there."

He ended the voicemail after that, deleting it so the man that constantly was on his mind wouldn't ever hear it.

Again.

"It's...it's 2:45. I can't sleep, I can't think. I just - I can't, you know? You always knew...you were always so smart, knew me so well..." He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes so the tears wouldn't roll down his cheeks. So the tears wouldn't choke him up. Wouldn't make it obvious that he was sobbing. "It's why I -"

Another deleted voicemail.

Again.

"2:47. You'll never get these, you'll never hear these...but I hope you know I care. I hope you know I think of you every night. I hope you know that no matter what, I'll always -" The words got choked up in his throat.

Deleted. Another deleted voicemail.

These were pointless.

Again.

"Not even a minute later and I'm trying again. I'm just - I'm so scared. I don't want to send these and never get a call back. I don't want to..." He struggled to breathe at the thought of his love, still dead in on that lab table. A beautifully twisted way to die; to be ripped apart by the one who loves you the most.

Deleted.

"It's 2:50 here. I wonder what time it is for you. I've lost most...I've lost a sense of time, I forgot where I used to live - where you hopefully still live. But I'm trying - I swear on that much, I'm trying, mein liebe. I want to come back, I do, but...but -"

Deleted.

"2:51. I can't face my own mistakes, or at least, the possibilities of what I done. You always called it anxiety and paranoia. And...well, I've finally done my research." A broken chuckle escaped his chapped lips. "Very fitting, honestly. I should probably...I should probably try to remember more of what you said about me. It makes me feel better. You make me feel better..."

Moments of silence. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes of complete silence.

Deleted. 

He was too honest, admitting too much to a possibly dead man. But...isn't that the best way to get things off your chest?

A shaky breath. Hit record again. Again.

"2:55." He hissed out a shaking breath into the phone, but it quickly turned into a sob. "It's been...been a while, honestly. Since I've last seen you. Talked to you. Held your hand....that's all I think about now. I don't care if I can't have you as mine, as long as you're my friend - please...please..."

Deleted.

He held the phone tight in his hand, thumb lingering over the record button. 

Minutes passed, but they felt like hours. Hours to make a decision. One that didn't matter.

"Hey, Jack...it's me, Henrik. I - I know you're probably...probably gone by now. But I just wanted to...to get this off my chest -" Henrik was shaking so badly that he couldn't help but to chuckle through the tears. "3 a.m. is a rather beautiful time, isn't it? Full of memories...full of things wished to be forgotten. It's the hour where 'i love you's are too late, but 'goodbye's are too soon."  
Henrik closed his eyes, eyes staring out the window of his hotel, imagining Jack back at home. 

Hopefully alive.

"So I can't say either...but I can say this."

Lidded blue eyes finally trailed to the clock. The agonizing ticking clock that made him decide what he was going to do.

Jack would never get this.

"I miss you, Jack."

Deleted.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sad. And lonely. So take this drabble for the first day of pride month!!!!! Wooo!!!! 
> 
> Yeah anyways, I'm just sad and cried after writing this soooo, hope ya had fun with me throwing it all on our morally-messed up, sad boy Henrik!!!


End file.
